Deer Porn

A bunch of things have come together to force this issue to the fore at our house.

1) We started getting the Outdoor Channel again on our cable. It had been missing for several years.
2) I got a DVR.
3) It's been hot and muggy and I'm inclined to just stay in the house and watch TV.

I have not been watching deer porn or turkey porn all that much for quite a while. I was aghast.

1) The music is much louder than before. How do you keep the deer from hearing it? What does Rap, Trance and Heavy Metal have to do with deer hunting?
2) How is it that the camera guy always seems to get to the carcass ahead of everyone else and yet the hunter and his buddy always are surprised to find it? If it were me, I'd just stay behind the camera guy and follow him to the kill-- he's like a bloodhound.
3) Has the whole world thrown away their lever-action and bolt-action rifles and adopted TC single shots?
4) Since when did deer hunting become a team sport? Frankly I would not hunt with guys who wanted to compete at deer hunting. This isn't a fish derby.
5) If they would just shut everybody up and stop all the dang whispering, they'd probably not need all that super-duper camo and all those gadgets.
6) Somebody needs to get the editors of these half-hour masterpieces to a doctor and get them diagnosed with Adult ADD and get them on some Ritalin.
7) Somebody needs to tell the executive producers that the The Kay-Fabe lines they're using were stale in the WWF before Andre the Giant took his big dive. They need to hire writers that never worked for Vince McMahon.
8) Why is it that guys on TV always have to hop on the back of the animal grab it by the antlers and work the neck. It sort of reminds me of those horsey rides at Woolworth's. Put a kid on one, put in a nickel and they pull on those reins like the darn thing is really going to get up and go trotting around the store.
9) It used to be I could keep the kids quiet on Sunday morning by plunking them down with a pile of pancakes and putting on a deer or turkey DVD. Now even the youngest is getting bored and walking off.

On the plus side:

* I gotta say that it is good to see fewer tall fences in the kill shots.
* The racks don't seem to grow as much between the kill shot and the recovery shot anymore.
* Some of the old crowd have started staying out of the trees and they're keeping them back at the office. As a result, I'm seeing fewer heart/lung shots taken through the rump and a few fewer stupid comments.