The Floating Hole Maiden Voyage

The maiden voyage of the Floating Hole has ended with a somewhat qualified success. There was no loss of life. No major loss of property, and a good time was had by all.

In the driveway, wearing rabbit ears, the motor had started easily. At the dock, however, it took over 30 minutes to get it to turn over. The real fun started about 100 yards from the dock, still at idle. We were approaching the edge of no wake zone when the boat decided to begin a lazy turn to port on its own. I turned the wheel to compensate, but there was no response. If anything, the turn got a bit tighter. We were heading towards an island.

"Turn the boat!" my buddy Matt yelled.

"I am." I said.

"Turn it the other way!" yelled Matt.

"It won't work."

"Turn the boat!"

"I'm cutting the engine!" I yelled.

"Don't! We'll never get it started again." cried Matt.

The boat missed the island by about 30 yards and continued to turn in circles. At this point, I reached under the console and was met with a tangle of steering cable. My best friend from high school, Matt, was aft, listening intently at the motor.

"Matt, there's a birdsnest under here!" I yelled.

"Well, throw it overboard!"

"No, I mean the cable-- It's #@$@#$ed!"

"Well get the birds nest out of the way and steer the boat!"

"I can't steer."

"It's only a birds nest. Throw the bloddy thing out!"

"No it's hosed. It's a birds nest. It won't steer!"

"If you talk like that to me again, " said Matt, "I'm going to throw you overboard. Now throw the @#$@#$ birdsnest overboard."

"It's the steering cable. The steering cable is totally hosed. It is tangled. There is zero response to the helm! It has formed a knot resembling the nest of a bird. There will be no steering from this helm today."

"Oh," said Matt. "I thought you meant --"

"Yes, I know what you thought."

"Well, I guess I'd best attempt to steer from back here." said Matt. " I was having trouble hearing you over the engine."

Matt steered by holding the motor with his feet and I brought up the throttle and headed out across the lake. The idea was to get the motor warmed up and shake out any problems. We got across the lake, and left Matt's kids and mine to swim at the beach. I got down under the console and redid the steering cable as best I could.

The rest of the trip was rather uneventful. We never got it up past about 2/3 speed due to a problem with the throttle. However, I'm fairly certain that can be straightened out. After about a half-hour's running, the motor would start on the first try. After 4 hours of motoring about the lake, we went back and got the boat back on the trailer. Matt and his crew took off for a wedding. We went back a bit more slowly.

About 20 miles from the house, the clouds really started to build up. I called ahead to my Mom's house, and she said a thunderstorm was about to hit. From the sound of it, we'd make it back just in time. Another 5 miles down the road I started seeing black bits of stuff flying up in the air. The left trailer tire was coming apart. I continued slowly to the next exit and ducked into a county park. The tire had not deflated, but about 2/3 of the tire was without tread. The nuts were rusted stuck on the spare and rusted stuck on the wheel. Liberal amounts of force applied by jumping on the star wrench got the show back on the road. With loud thunder and a sizzling cloud to ground strikes close by, I threw the wheel into the boat and rolled back onto the expressway just as the storm struck.

The rain ended just before we pulled into the drive. I sent the rest of the family inside, while I unhooked the trailer and got it turned around in the drive. It just so happens, that if I park the boat about halfway up the drive and then unhook it, I can use the slant of the drive to my advantage. With one hand the boat does a 180 and comes to rest just behind my truck. I can then back around it and re-position for the next trip out. My son caught the act.

"Dad," said my son, as we walked into the house, "That was amazing! I've never seen anything like that!"

"What?"

"This whole thing! The boat. The motor. The trailer. The storm." he said.

At this point I realized my son had been totally blown away by the adventure, and the topper was seeing his Dad slap a boat trailer around in the driveway with seemingly magical forces at work.

"Yeah well," I said. "Just keep your mind on what you want to get done, and the rest will work itself out."

Yes, I'd say the boat was worth it. Thanks, all of you, for helping out on this project.